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What Does a Sex Coach Do?

I work as both a Sex Educator and Sex Coach!

My practice combines the spiritual and scientific to help you experience deeper pleasure and sexual connection with self and other. In my holistic approach to sex education and sexual wellness, I use tools from Tantra, mindfulness, and yoga to help people find new ways of relating to their own body and others. I use clinical, educational, and therapeutic resources to offer you the best information, practices, and skills. I am certified as a practitioner of Urban Tantra, a Certified Sex Educator, and have a Master’s degree in Gender Studies from University of Hawaii at Manoa.

Who Works With a Sex Coach?

People just like YOU work with a Sex Coach! Coaches help us be our best selves. The most experienced athletes in the world have coaches that help them achieve their best performances. You deserve the same support as you improve your sex, relationships, and pleasure!

In my years of practice, my clients have worked with me to:

  • Transform their relationship to sex, pleasure, and intimacy—whether single or partnered.
  • Reconnect to their sexuality, sensuality, and their body.
  • Heal and enhance intimacy with your partner(s)
  • Find new ways to play! They have played with new types of sex, explored their sexuality and sexual expression (ie: queer sexuality and gender expression, kink, BDSM, polyamory, and more), and gotten tutorials about touch and toys that can enhance their play.
  • Discover common communication and relational challenges that hold you back from the deepest connection.
  • To answer questions about their body (arousal, physiology, how our bodies work and how it changes over time)

Should I Work with a Sex Coach?

Yes, you should work with a Sex Coach to help explore the edges of your pleasure and experience joy in your body! When you choose to work with a Sex Coach, there are a million different paths we could take, because your relationship to sex and pleasure is totally unique. In our sessions, we’ll find the ways that work best for you. My goal is to lead you towards a deeper understanding of yourself, your body, and maybe your partners, so that you can feel better in your body and in your relationship. We start where it’s right for you. If you’re not ready for individual sessions, you can get my on-demand classes and education here and find my sex education events here.

Below I’ve detailed some of my specializations and the big ideas that guide my coaching and teaching. Please think of these as overall themes for this work: when we work together, we can start in any area that feels most important or most interesting to you. We may find new things that are not listed here. There isn’t a particular order to this work, and there is a lot of overlap across these themes. Where do you want to start?

Communication & Consent

Many of us don’t have any practice talking about sex and relationships, but we can change that in our work together! Whether you’re single, dating, or in a long-term relationship, there are always ways to deepen your communication skills. In Sex Coaching, you will learn how to be more clear about what you need.

Sex Coaching might be right for you if you find yourself challenged by some of these topics below:

  • Clearly knowing what you need in relationships and in the bedroom
  • Asking for what you need in relationships and in the bedroom
  • Knowing what feels good in your body, mind, heart, and spirit
  • Finding time for yourself
  • Understanding your feelings or your partner’s feelings
  • Expressing to someone that your needs are not being met
  • Feeling scared of having challenging conversations or avoiding conflict altogether

If you’d like help with any of these topics, Sex Coaching is for you. Here are some of the ways we’ll work together to improve communication & consent:

  • Know, understand, and articulate what you desire. It’s the best way to finally get what you want
  • Learn consent practices to arrive at clear agreements with partners so that you can be free of worry and full of pleasure
  • Play with tools and practices to access deeper levels of communication with partners
  • Discover communication games to practice better conversations
  • Develop strategies for ‘hard’ conversations and practice

Intimacy & Connection

Many of us grew up in sex-negative households, cultures, and/or religions. These long-standing shaming traditions stay with us, and most of us are moving through our lives using sex and relationship ideas that are not our own. Old stories and outside voices take away our agency, and the legacy sex-negativity keeps us locked in sexual shame and discourages our natural curiosity and openness. Let’s start unwinding these stories to discover who you really are. You might be ready for Sex Coaching if you have questions like:

  • How do I know what I want sexually?
  • How do I open myself up to more sexual pleasure?
  • How do I improve my sexual experiences (whether solo or partnered)?
  • How do I let go of shame/stigma/confusion around sex and be more curious and playful?
  • What is my sexual identity/gender identity/sexual orientation?
  • Am I NORMAL? (Yes, and we can still talk about it)

In Sex Coaching you will learn to deepen intimacy and connection. Some of the things we’ll work on include (but aren’t limited to) the following:  

  • Redefining sexuality, sex, pleasure, and intimacy in new ways for YOU
  • Revising sexual scripts and rewriting sex and pleasure stories on YOUR own terms
  • Sex and relationship values (and core values evaluation and rewriting) 
  • Unwinding cultural/religious/familial shame and judgment about sex and intimacy
  • Non-sexual intimacy practices to build connection
  • Pleasure practices to deepen your understanding of erotic connection 
  • The connection between mindfulness and pleasure, and practicing both in and out of the bedroom

Deeper Pleasure & Mindful Erotic Exploration 

Deep, expansive pleasure awaits you as you expand your experience of the erotic. We will deepen your sexual practices and expand your toolkit. Have you ever wondered if there is MORE to SEX or asked yourself questions like these?

  • My partner and I cannot connect sexually—how do we get better, together? 
  • I feel like my sex life is missing something, but I don’t know what
  • What do I REALLY want?
  • My sex life is boring—how can I learn and discover more? 
  • I don’t think I’m interested in sex anymore—is this OK and/or can I do something about it? (Yes, to both!)
  • I’ve never known how to pleasure myself or someone else—I want to learn skills that make me a better lover!  
  • I want to be more open, more wild, more free in bed—how do I do that? 
  • How do I become a more confident lover?

Please consider Sex Coaching as a way to open up your sexual and sensual journey. On this path, our work could include the following:  

  • For people with a penis: practices to help you last longer in bed, be a more attuned lover, and truly understand your partner’s pleasure
  • For people with vulvas: how to turn up your arousal, feel more connected to your body, discover multiple paths to pleasure, and become wildly orgasmic.
  • Learning new pleasure techniques like erotic massage, edging, and mindful erotic practices
  • Foundational Tantra practices (using all the senses to deepen any experience)
  • Pleasure mapping—you get to explore your unique map to find treasure!
  • Sensation play: playing with scent, touch, sight, taste, and sounds to deepen your experiences
  • Exploration of fantasy, desire, and tools for discovery of your hidden passions
  • Please note that these are all guided practices for at-home, self study ONLY—we will not engage in any sex, play, or pleasure sessions together. 

Discover your Body // Sex Education for Adults

Most of us did not get comprehensive sex education as kids or as adults, and this is a big problem! To deeply know our pleasure, we need to also understand the science of how our bodies work! I’m a Certified Sex Educator, and I love sharing the science of sexual anatomy (what is where) and the physiology (how stuff works). Maybe you have the following questions: 

  • I have pain with sex—is that normal? (NO, please, let’s talk)
  • How does my body work? Why is it doing different things than it used to do? 
  • I don’t understand my arousal, desire, or sexual response, and/or I don’t understand how sex actually works
  • Are the challenges I’m experiencing normal?
  • How can I work with my physical, mental, or sexual limitations and still have a fulfilling sex life? 
  • Why do people use toys, lube, or other sexual aids? Do I need these things? How do they work? 

If you’re looking to better understand your body and how it works (and why it sometimes doesn’t work the way you want it to), here’s what we can talk about: 

  • Reproductive anatomy and sexual health
  • How arousal and desire operate: what is the sexual response cycle? How does arousal happen in our body? What about my arousal challenges? 
  • Pain and pleasure: dealing with sexual challenges like pelvic pain, erectile difficulty, and building a better understanding of sex practices to expand pleasure regardless of what your equipment looks like or how it works 
  • Strategies for pleasuring all bodies: touch practices for the whole body
  • Learning more about the tools and toys that can enhance your sex life

If the above questions and ideas resonate with you, please connect with me using my Contact Form below. I’m always happy to have a brief conversation to answer questions and help you decide if and when Sex and Sex Coaching is right for you. To learn more about how my coaching works, click through to find more details about individual coaching, couples coaching, my on-demand sex education on Patreon, and my ongoing free and paid events.

andrea bertoli sex coach hawaii


If you have any questions about my work and my offerings, please use my contact form below or schedule a free, 30-minute consultation. Follow me on Instagram, TikTok, or join my Pleasure Collective newsletter for juicy content, juicy practices, and workshop and event updates.