Tantra is both a spiritual path that embraces sexuality, and the idea that sex is a direct path to the Divine. This practice of cock worship or pussy worship is one way to devote yourself to your lover, and remind them of their Divine nature.
In Tantric practices, one of the ways we connect with the Divine (or the Universe, Cosmos, God/Goddess, Nature) is to bring the concept of worship into our sexual practices. Cock worship and pussy worship are two of the ways you can bring reverence into the bedroom as part of your spiritual-sexual practices, and it can bring you both some next-level pleasure.
At the core, cock worship or pussy worship is about giving dedicated attention and intention to your lover’s body. Gentle but dedicated touch, focused energy, and deep intention are the key things that you need to give this beautiful practice to your partner.
Learning How to Really Give and Receive
Many of us are very good at giving during sex, and we are less good at receiving (I see this in my men and my women). There are lots of reasons for this! Primarily it’s because we have been taught not to be ‘too needy’ in our lives. Unfortunately, for most of my community, this means we have also stifled our very important NEEDS, and most of us have stifled our desires, too. Because of this, most people I work with have a really hard time leaning into receiving. Truly receiving is hard, because it requires trust, connection, and an aspect of surrender.
One of the ways I’ve helped people work through this is using a consent framework called the Wheel of Consent, which helps us understand whether we are serving/receiving or taking/allowing. This language becomes more clear as you study it, and it’s something I teach nearly all my clients as it’s applicable to almost everyone. Serving means we are giving with pure intention, and the other person is completely in receiving mode. Clarifying these roles is important, especially as we get into deeper practices like cock worship and pussy worship.
Talking about worship can make some people feel funny, especially if you were raised in the church and have historical or current connection to God in the Judeo-Christian traditions. If you don’t like the word worship, you can use terms like adoration, devotion, or even something very neutral like focus.
However you choose to speak about it, know that the goal is connection, deep reverence, and expansive pleasure. Let’s jump in.
How to Practice Cock Worship & Pussy Worship
Loving on our partner’s body is a gift that we can give; giving them the devoted attention or a worship practice is a deeper level of appreciation. Some people have never experienced this level of deep, focused attention and it may be challenging. So I recommend starting with a short time frame, maybe 15 minutes. Sometimes people don’t like to be SEEN so intensely; for some, the idea of worship or deep attention can be hard, so give them space to feel all that comes up for them.
First, set the stage.
Ask your partner if they’d be open to receive such an experience. Make it clear that it’s a set amount of time, and that reciprocity isn’t required. Let them know you want to give them a gift of your attention, in service of their pleasure.
Next, create an intention.
My intention is to adore and worship this most beautiful, sensitive part of your body. You can experience pleasure, or just receive it as a relaxing practice. You may become aroused, but arousal and orgasm are not required nor expected.
Now, create a nest.
This is an experience that takes us out of the everyday, and can be come a ritual on its own. Clean the space you intend to use for your practice. Clear away dishes or laundry, and set the mood with lighting, scents, and other ambient additions that will help your partner feel relaxed and receptive. Turn your phones on do not disturb and close down the room however you need to set aside dedicated time and space. I strongly recommend setting a timer, especially if this is a new practice. You can start with 15 minutes. This is long enough to feel a lot of sensation and create a beautiful practice, but not too long to make people uncomfortable. Setting a timer allows you both to commit to set amount of time for full presence.
Start your worship practice.
There are no specific set of ways to touch any one body—we all have individual pleasure preferences. So you’ll need to trust your intuition and your partner’s cues during your session. Below are some loose guidelines to follow and you can adjust based on your partner’s body, their desires, or your interests (if you’ve gotten consent for specific practices).
- Start with gentle touch. Gently touch their their whole body with worship and adoration. Rub their arms, chest, belly, and legs. Use their favorite lube or oil (I like virgin coconut oil, almond oil, or Foria Awaken Arousal Oil with CBD) and rub their legs, thighs, and gently around the genitals. Touch with curiosity, reverence, and love. You can share some observations about their body, how much you love them or a specific part, or just tell them how much you love them, appreciate them, and desire them. Think more massage, not direct stimulation. Imagine you’re warming up their whole body and using your hands to bring bloodflow and energy into their genitals.
- For those with a penis, gently tug and massage the testicles and slowly and loosely stroke the cock. Again, this is more massage and less handjob. For those with pussies, gently press and rub the outer labia, the pubic mound, and the inner thighs. Linger here, take your time, adore and worship their unique shape, smell, and appearance.
- Very slowly add some more arousing touch to their genitals if they want. For those with a cock, this might mean stroking the penis more firmly but slowly, allowing the erection to rise and fall. Be present for and celebrate their arousal (but remember that orgasm isn’t the goal). Continue to massage their testicles and perineum, exploring and loving on the most intimate parts of their body. For those with a pussy, this might mean some gentle but firm touch on the clitoris, or some exploration of the vestibule (the entrance to the vagina). You can explore gently, with the focus on exploration, playfulness, and reverence. Touch, explore, and adore until your timer beeps to bring you back down to earth.
- To close, snuggle or cuddle with them to bask in the afterglow of their experience. Ask if they want to discuss, or if they want silence to process. Sometimes when we allow ourselves to really surrender, it can bring up a lot of emotion, so be prepared to hold space for a range of responses. All emotional responses are valid and welcome. Hold, cuddle, and continue the presence and validation of their beautiful body, lovely presence, and your deep adoration of them.