My deepest joy in this world is watching people fully blossom into their most expressed, erotic selves (including myself!)🌹
Like any skill—yoga, financial management, tennis, or French cooking—the more we practice, the more masterful we become.
But we don’t usually approach self-pleasure in this way.
Many of us learn to masturbate as teenagers, and we keep the same practices throughout our decades of play. Most of us also pleasure quietly, secretly, and often, shamefully. But I’m here to remind you that you can always become more masterful in your experience of pleasure. I really think self-pleasure can be a way to nourish ourselves deeply and unlock our deepest sensual potential. ✨
Solo play invites us into a deeper level of exploration, giving you an opportunity to discover MORE of your sexual expression and heal the parts of us that might be hiding away.
You can turn your solo play into a deeply nourishing experience—it can be so much more than just ‘rubbing one out.’ I invite you to be curious about your body, your energy, and your breath, so that you can be more playful and open to what might arise. Moving more slowly, more mindfully, into pleasure allows ALL THE PARTS of our sensual, sexual selves to bloom.
If you want to give yourself the best gift this season, offer yourself deeper self-love with the following suggestions to enhance your mindful erotic exploration.
1️⃣ Give yourself space and time. Everyone is busy, yes. But our energy goes where our intention flows. If you want have more pleasure in your life, you need to prioritize it. Maybe it’s an extra 10 minutes in the morning, or a longer shower, or maybe you have the luxury of a whole night at home by yourself. Take time for pleasure, and it will light up your whole life.
2️⃣ Intention and attention. Practice your own pleasure without a goal: explore mindfulness, slowness, intentional self-love, and enjoy giving yourself a gift. Tune into your sensations, your needs, and what you really want in the moment (don’t follow a script… see how you can change it up!). Practice self-consent along the way, and ask yourself what you REALLY want.
3️⃣ Sensation Play: Open your heart/mind/body to the joy of exploration. Even if you have a regular play practice, try new things (new location, new time of day). If you want to really vary your sensation, try some new toys (or try your regular toys in new ways… like some vibes on your nipples, maybe?). Adding new lube, enjoying snacks or sips while self-pleasuring, or simply listening to new music can enhance the whole range of sensory activity.
Your pleasure is a gift to give to yourself, and you’re worth it!