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Beautiful Human Needs: A Resource to Understand What You Need

This is one of my favorite documents to share with my clients and in workshops. Thank you to my dear friend Terra for giving me this phrase ‘Beautiful Human Needs.’

So many of my people struggle knowing what they need in life and in relationships. When we’re young, most of us are taught that we should not be ‘too needy’ or ‘too selfish.’ And so many of us identify as ‘people pleasers,’ meaning that we allow the needs of others to take precedence over our own. Sometimes this is because we don’t think of ourselves as valuable enough to deserve to have our needs met (I promise, dear one, you are worthy). Sometimes it’s because we don’t know what our needs are. This worksheet can be helpful in figuring that out.

Review this list here and circle or notate which needs feel true to you. Then review, asking yourself what’s important in my friendships or coworkers and romantic partnerships. These will likely differ. For example, I deeply need autonomy and independence in my romantic partnership, but I strongly value collaboration and connection among friends and community.

If you have any questions about this document, please reach out. Noting here the invaluable resources of the Center for Nonviolent Communication and their freely available resources.